From the Beginning
Today I was reminded when introducing myself to a couple we had met at church, that most people often wonder, How in the world did two incredibly awesome little people happen to meet from opposite sides of the continent, are now married, and living in Redding, CA?
It’s a question that still baffles me. When I think about the first time I saw Mr. Little, I can’t believe how we got here. It blows me away at how God so perfectly orchestrated everything. So for those interested in the story of Mr. & Mrs. Little, I thought I would take some time to dive into our story and the journey God took me through during my dating years. But before I begin… It’s so easy to compare and think that everyone’s lives on Facebook are perfect, that love and life are perfect, especially when we only see the “Best” moments on Facebook or Instagram. So to be the most beneficial, I’m about to get brutally real, honest, and vulnerable.
Growing up as a little person, dating was difficult. Jr. High and High School were the worst. Although it was probably no different from the average persons’ hatred of that era. I don’t think I know anyone that absolutely loved that age. Trying to fit in and not get bullied was a challenge. I remember going to a high school dance and just hoping there would be a gentlemen, one that would be honorable enough to get on their knees to dance with me. Some would occasionally ask me to dance, which for a moment would make my heart flutter, only to be crushed when they refused to get on my level. The moment I realized I became a sexual joke between them and their buddies, I would try to hold back the tears and ignore their insensitive comments. That was the last high school dance I went to.
Jr. High and High School was also the age that I was most active in going to LPA (Little People of America) Conventions. These conventions were held regionally and nationally, usually 1-3 times per year. My hopes for dating and finding love with someone like me had dramatically increased when I lost hope for the average sized male. For the most part, these conventions were incredible. There was such a camaraderie and it was empowering to be around others at the same eye level. It was amazing to know that you’re not alone in your fight to thrive in a world made for people much taller than yourself.
However, the dating scene was just as messy and not what I was looking for. I feel like every girl wants to be loved for who they are, on their best days and their worst. They want to be viewed as beautiful, whether they’re covered in makeup or just woke up in the morning. They want to be honored, valued, and respected. Maybe it’s the immaturity of still being in high school; that desperation and the desires to fit in overcomes the desires to treat one another honorably.
For as long as I can remember, there were certain values that I had that were nonnegotiable in regards to dating, ones that God placed deep into my heart and they burned in my soul. I’m actually super thankful for how deep they were engrained because they played a huge part into who I was and who I became. I believe some of those values that were nonnegotiable saved myself from some great heartache down the road. My experience at little people conventions was that every guy that showed an interest in me, just wanted one thing. There was usually alcohol involved and some sort of insecurity and desperation for the male to get lucky, and the female to be accepted and loved. There was a mindset that this was the one week out of the year to have a normal relationship, so everyone went overboard. I would find myself in multiple situations, which started off being innocent, would think the guy had the best intentions, and time after time, I was wrong. I thank God that He protected me from some situations that could’ve ended badly or not how I wanted. Each time, the honor and value that I had for myself, far outweighed the superficial desire to be accepted in a one night fling. Every time I was able to walk away, and the next morning was so thankful I did.
I remember being in Jr. High when social media started to become a thing. Social media connections started with AIM and later Myspace, as Facebook had yet to exist. This was the way that we could stay in contact with the friends we made at conventions throughout the year. There were Little People Groups on Myspace that you could join and meet other little people just like you. Most little people relationships had to be via the internet, as you could only meet in person a few times a year at conventions. I remember having to be super careful with Myspace as there were a lot of creepers, mostly average sized men, looking to get their desires and fetishes filled. I had to have tough skin, not let things get to me, and blow off whatever insensitive comments came my way.
One evening, during my senior year of high school, I was losing hope in the male gender. I only wanted to be loved, accepted, and valued. Was that too much to ask? I then decided to scroll through one of the little people groups on Myspace. I wanted to see my options and see if there were any prospective hopefuls in the mix. To my surprise there was one that immediately caught my attention. The moment I saw his picture, I had a deep feeling in my gut, a burning in my soul, and somehow, I just knew that the man in that picture would one day be my husband! The picture was of him doing an Elvis impersonation and being goofy. It wasn’t a picture that looked like he was trying to show off for the female race. Instead, it was a picture of Mr. Little just being himself. It was genuine and to me that was incredibly attractive.
It was maybe love at first sight. At least on my side anyways because at the time, my existence wasn’t even known to him, and he was in a relationship with someone else. So I thought to myself, “God, if he’s supposed to be my husband one day, you have a lot of work to do!” However, He was faithful and He re-ignited my hope. When God tells you something, He doesn’t hold back. He doesn’t dangle a carrot in front of your face and not follow through on His word. He brings hope when there is none. His timing maybe didn’t look like the way I had imagined, and the journey to get where we are now was messy, but through it came incredible strength and redemption. I’m so thankful for our story. I’m thankful that the first time I ever remember hearing God’s voice, it was about the person I would one day spend the rest of my life with!